It's November, and in my part of the world at least, we are now in a season where the sun sets exceptionally early. It's getting colder, and the sun shines far less brightly than it did in the summer.

We're well into the time of year where we're faced with constant demands to buy things. We might be urged by others all around us to make all kinds of plans and observe time-honored traditions and rituals. Plans that might foist emotional labor upon us. Plans that, even though we're technically "invited," make us feel excluded or not seen, or remind us of the complicated nature of family/community and all of the feelings that come along with that. Or maybe, we have no plans or traditions or need to reinvent our own, which calls forth other feelings, including opportunities both to celebrate and to grieve.

It's also been a challenging year, half-decade, decade, and beyond, in the greater world outside of ourselves, for reach-into-the-hat-and-choose-any-reason.

All of this amid a backdrop of everything and everyone insisting that it's "the most wonderful time of the year."

For many, it's not wonderful, and pretending doesn't make it any easier. The stress doesn't get easier by imagining it away. If you could fill in the blank, "the most _______ time of the year," which word would you choose if you were to be honest?

I often struggle with how to answer the question, "how are you?" when catching up with someone. I want to be genuine, but at the same time don't want to be "too much". (Has this ever been you, too?) But, there are no wrong answers, especially when figuring out how to connect with others, which can sometimes be a bit messy. The traditional tools and tips we're given are great for building surface-level relationships, and maybe that's one reason why this time of year can be challenging, because we haven't been given the tools to go deeper. Imagine the world we'd live in if we could all be seen and celebrated for our true selves. That would be a wonderful season indeed.

If this isn't an easy time of year for you, my heart is with you. If at all possible, try to carve out time and energy for yourself as best you can. Who can you connect with this season who gives you energy and allows you to feel seen? Who can you reach out to just to say that you're thinking of them and share a memory that makes you smile?
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My inbox is open if you'd like to exchange any honest and judgment-free thoughts about where you are with all of this. Just reply and say hi.