Hey Reader,

It's Wednesday once again, and this week, we're taking a look at the letter W in the WEIRD process. In other words, welcome to Sesame Street, brought to you by the letter W.

The WEIRD Process: What is Want to Change?

Want to Change is the first step in the process because it helps you identify whether or not you even need to go any further.

You likely embarked upon the WEIRD process because you've wanted to change for some time but haven't been able to make it happen yet, for whatever reason.

Want to Change can help identify your reasons behind the desired change and the blockers impeding your progress. It can also identify if those reasons even belong to you and whether it's best to heed them or let them go.

Want to Change: Do your reasons for wanting to change even belong to you?

You might be familiar with KC Davis's book How to Keep House While Drowning. It's a great read for anyone who has ever struggled with the functional tasks of keeping up with life (what Davis calls "care tasks").

But did you know that Davis authored another helpful book, called Who Deserves Your Love, about how to manage the people in your life?

In the book, Davis outlines what she calls the Relationship Decision Tree, which serves to assist with decisions on whether or not to keep someone in your life, and at what level of closeness or distance (with what boundaries).

When introducing the tree, Davis shares: "Often, we make decisions about relationships based on what other people say we must feel. But not everyone shares the same values or preferences. A major issue to one person may be a minor inconvenience to someone else."

In other words, are your reasons for wanting to change aligned with your values, or someone else's? If you're having trouble "gut-checking" this, that's okay. Davis shares that past trauma and relationships can shape our ability to trust our intuition, in which case using tools and exercises that guide thinking, as well as consulting trusted confidants can help.

Check out KC Davis's books on her website, Struggle Care. (not an affiliate, just a fan!)

Journal prompts and things to try

Who have others told me that I am? If I had complete permission to tell myself who I am, what would I say?

What are my values?

Don't know your values or want to double check? Try a values quiz.

What do I expect to feel as a result of making the desired change?

Chooseletter

Did you find this issue valuable? A: Yes B: No​