Hello! Are you familiar with the phrase, "unearned confidence"?

I became familiar with this phrase in the context of the generational wars between Gen Z and everyone else that are as massive and fabricated as a vintage onscreen Godzilla suit.**

Stuffy media outlets looking for content will publish articles claiming that members of other generations complain that members of Gen Z have unearned confidence because of their camera presence on social media, their personal branding skills, and the way they keep up with fashion and trends. The claim is that the confidence is "unearned" because apparently these young, impressionable souls are too inexperienced to act with such poise and authority, you know, like they run the place.

Last time I shared what the confidence of my youth looked like. Was that, too, unearned?

When people accuse youth* of having unearned confidence, it sounds like what they mean is that it's undeserved. That confidence should come with experience. A degree from the school of life. A few more trips around the sun. Accomplishing something. Being useful to society.

How do we determine our own self-worth? How much should we pay ourselves as a confidence salary? How do we earn the currency or currencies that convert into confidence?

A lot of messaging, especially the messaging that many have received going back several generations, is that confidence and self-worth should come from external things, such as social status, job title, wealth, possessions, physical appearance and "success" (by a narrow definition).

True confidence comes from within, from feeling secure in and loving who you are, and doesn't rely on all those things.

The thing that most of us get that's undeserved is shame. We don't earn it and we don't deserve it, but we get it anyway. It's something we learn. We don't just decide to feel ashamed one day out of nowhere.

Ultimately, there's no such thing as unearned confidence, because we don't need to do anything to earn it.

Shame unlearned can go a long way in helping to uncover the true you who can't wait to shine through.

Have a great Wednesday,
Cee

P.S. Thank you to everyone who signed up for the Awktober waitlist and submitted questions! I have answered them on the waitlist page. Check it out and feel free to respond to this email if you have further thoughts or questions or would just like to say hi.

*With the oldest members of Gen Z approaching 30, using Gen Z as shorthand to mean "kids today" won't last forever, so if this is you, know we old people will leave you alone soon enough and you can join us in bugging Gen Alpha, I guess.

**Did you know that giant monster movies still film actors in suits to this day? This filming style, created for the original Godzilla movies, is called suitmation.