Hey! It's 10/10, which means it's World Mental Health Day.

I started to type World Menthol Health Day at first, in which case...[cue 1950s radio ad voice]

Remember that oral health is the gateway to whole body health! Make sure to brush your teeth with the fresh minty toothpaste that helps you get your tasks done with a boost of caffeine! Try Make-A-Dent today and make a dent in your to-do list!

While caffeinated mints actually exist and I used to use them in middle school, I have yet to see caffeinated (or otherwise stimulating) toothpaste. Any inventors out there? I have not-so-seriously contemplated taking on newsletter sponsors.

Mental health starts with healthy communities

Societally we tend to blame "issues" with mental health on the individual, when in fact, being in good mental health largely has to do with the ability to conform to and comply with societal expectations and norms. But when those very norms and expectations were designed without you in mind, it can cause a lot of physical, emotional, and certainly mental stress. You may be familiar with the quote, "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society."​

The stigma around mental health as a personal failing coupled with lack of widespread access to resources like affordable and inclusive mental health care causes people to struggle in silence, and, as you can imagine, the consequences of this can often be tragic. What do we do? As individuals, we can't fix systemic issues that are much bigger than us overnight.

What we can do is form strong communities and have open conversations. Individualism is a product of capitalism, because sharing is less profitable for shareholders.

Check in on your friends. This doesn't have to look like anything formal, it can just mean keeping in regular contact. Of course, this is advice I need to hear more than anyone else! I'm sure those of you who are friends with me outside of this newsletter who are reading this right now are laughing at my hypocrisy because you haven't heard from me in forever. And I'm sorry! I'm calling myself out on it!

Why we don't reach out

What can be helpful is examining some of the reasons we don't keep in contact more often. These are some of the reasons I personally experience. Maybe they'll resonate for you, too.

• Overwhelm: It's not that I don't care about the people in my life. I think about them far more often than I let them know. Still, despite having the intention to reach out, I don't, because I forget, or there are a million other things on my urgent to-do list for that day, and I need to be in the right headspace to reach out (a self-created barrier, I know).
  • Solution: Ambitiously, I could actually commit to using a personal CRM instead of telling myself I'm too disorganized for it to work. Approach it with a sense of playfulness and experimentation, as prescribed in the WEIRD process (see me telling myself to follow my own advice? Do you do that too?). But more realistically, to start, I could set up something like Angélica from Todoist's "Little Big Things" project, which is a set of reminders to check in with people about specific things in their lives.
• Perfectionism: Especially when someone reaches out to me first, I feel so grateful that I want to perfectly express that in my response and write something incredibly thoughtful and eloquent back to them. If their message arrives at a moment when I feel stressed or low-energy, I am not always able to respond immediately with the effort and emotional energy I want to invest. I wait until I have a perfect window of time when I can think and overthink about what I want to say. So often, the response gets incredibly delayed or just doesn't happen at all. I know that a timely, brief response is much more valuable than a long, overthought one - I just need to put it into practice.
  • Solution: Practice the "I've seen this" method more: "Just letting you know I've seen this and will share a more detailed response later" and giving myself a timeline to actually follow up. Also get more comfortable sending a quick first draft response and letting that be okay! I don't need to draft a message for weeks in my head only to never end up sending it. What a waste of energy for everyone involved! Also, if I'm really stuck overthinking, I could always use the Formalizer from Goblin.Tools. I just shared about this tool in my latest talk with Tech Ladies last week (if you missed registering, email Tech Ladies for assistance). I generally don't love gen AI, but if it helps facilitate an actual human interaction later like the catch-up call that's been waiting months or years to be scheduled, then I shouldn't be stubborn about it in this case.
• Shame: First, as we just learned, it's highly likely that it's either been ages since I've reached out or I'm way overdue on a response. Combine that with a fear of vulnerability to share updates about my life if things aren't going perfectly, as well as feeling like I'm burdening others by sharing my stuff when they might be dealing with challenges of their own.
  • Solution: Avoid the shame of oversharing by learning about the levels of connection from Dr. Ana. Lead with consent by asking if sharing about XYZ topic is okay: "Do you have the capacity to hear about ____?" It's also helpful to determine up front what you and your conversation partner need from each other from the interaction - do you need to feel seen/heard, do you need advice, do you need something else? Also remember that those I'm reaching out to are likely struggling with something too and by modeling vulnerability it can offer them a space to share if they want to as well.

So, reach out to your friends, even if it's uncomfortable at first. Remember, it doesn't have to be perfect. As Angélica from Todoist shares, "Things that are seemingly small for me may mean the world for people I love." Go mean the world to someone today and make their day a 10/10.

If you don't know where to start, one actionable step you can take right now is to reply to this email to let me know what you think of this newsletter. Feedback helps me know what resonates with you and what kind of content I should share moving forward.

Events (I need your help!)

There is just one event on my calendar at the moment and it is the Networking, Improv'd event. This event is an opportunity to meet other folks in the Cultivate Your Weirdness reader community in a lighthearted and fun way by learning to play improv games.

The event necessitates a certain number of attendees in order to make the networking opportunities worthwhile for everyone and also to have enough people to play the games while being supported by an audience.

Based on the likelihood that not every registrant will end up attending because we are all overbooked and that's life, I would absolutely love for at least 25 of you lovely folks reading to sign up and consider attending. Telling your friends will also make hitting the registration target more feasible, and the event more fun!

If I do not reach ~30 registered by October 20th, I will postpone the event until next year. Either way, it's okay - whatever will allow the most people to have the most fun and make the most connections!

Have a weird week and catch you next time!

Cee

P.S. If you're in the US, are you and your loved ones registered to vote?