Remember, you have permission to do all of these things. Have you granted that permission to yourself?

1. Not have the answers. It's better to be honest, both with yourself and others, and say you don't know. Don't be like ChatGPT and just make something up. It's okay to sit with the discomfort of not knowing. If the answer can be easily found, commit to looking it up and responding later. It's also okay to delay an answer until you've had time to think about it.

2. Not be okay. We are constantly under pressure to display toxic positivity (or as some call it, "positive toxicity"). Sweeping emotions under the rug, wearing an uncanny smile and making small talk to avoid thinking about the increasingly chaotic world around us, and trying to force a "normal" that doesn't exist only serves to make people increasingly irritable, disharmonious and anxious, whether they realize it or not. I don't recommend opening up about your feelings to everyone around you, especially psychologically unsafe people, but it can be helpful to have at least one or two safe folks you can open up to. At the very least, please try to be honest with yourself about how you're feeling and give yourself permission to feel and process your feelings without judgment. Use a feelings wheel if you need practice identifying your emotions.

3. Be intentional about community. You don't have to pour emotional labor into relationships that are no longer serving you or are causing you harm. It can be helpful to audit the relationships in your life from time to time to find out whether the energy you're investing is coming back to you in equal measure. Think about how your body feels around or when communicating with the people in your life. If you feel signs of stress or discomfort, that may indicate a draining relationship. Even if on the surface the relationship feels great, your body may be sending you signals. If anything is off, trust your body and explore the signals further. Conversely, the people who feel like home, who make you feel at peace, who you can fully trust...those are the people who deserve your time and energy, and it's good to let them know through words or actions how important they are to you. Love is an action verb.

4. Cancel plans or otherwise say no. You don't have to follow through on all your commitments or accept every ask of your time and energy. Not wanting to or feeling like it is a valid enough reason. You can prioritize taking care of yourself, even amid being a caretaker for others. You are not required to be perfect or a superhero (any more than you already are - and you are!).

5. Experience rest, joy and self-care on your own terms. These days, do you want to curl up under a blanket, watch your favorite childhood cartoon and eat cereal with marshmallows? Do it! Want to use an entire day off just to sleep as much as you can? Go for it! No one is allowed to tell you what you do and don't need, especially now. It's okay to lean into rest. It's okay to lean into joy, even! Go to that happy place - we could all use that! Don't let others judge you unless you are intentionally being a jerk as a form of self care, which I doubt you are (and even if you were, I don't think others' judgment would make much of a difference). Remember also that we can care for ourselves by caring for our communities and for the things we care about most in the world. What could that mean in your life?