Hey! You've almost made it through the week. Congratulations! Go ahead and reward yourself with something fun. You deserve it! Can't think of anything fun? Try this classic!​

In this issue

• Q: How can I be less socially awkward when networking?
• Do you really want to change?
• It's almost #Awktober!

Q: How can I be less socially awkward when networking? I don't know what to say and I feel like I'm bothering people, so I end up not making contact at all.

A: The solution might seem somewhat counterintuitive, but since it's the fear of coming across as awkward that's holding you back, what will help is moving gradually toward that fear with curiosity.

You may be familiar with Jia Jiang's Rejection Therapy which involves making outlandish requests where the answer will almost certainly be "no" just to grow accustomed to receiving a no, surviving, and realizing it's not an assessment of your worth or you as a person.

If networking itself is what feels awkward as opposed to other interactions you normally have, it may be because the networking exchanges feel too transactional or fake. Since the idea of "bring your whole self to work" isn't always realistic for everyone (i.e. "be yourself - no, not like that") is there at least a part of you that doesn't feel fake or forced that could lead the interaction?

Remember also that successful networking is about forming a genuine connection with a real person. Ultimately it's not that different than making a friend on the playground when you were a kid, except instead of having cool snacks to trade at lunch, maybe your new friend can help you get a job. But, as a kid, when you first met new friends on the playground, you weren't thinking of them just in terms of the snacks they could trade. That's what makes relationships transactional and feel high-stakes. Don't think about what someone can do for you or what you can offer them, but rather the potential connection that could form between you. We could all use more genuine connection.

Do you really want to change? | An excerpt from Get WEIRD to Plan Your Career, Part 1

The first stage of the [WEIRD process] is called Want to Change. It’s important to ask yourself if you really do want your desired change as much as you might think or say you do. If it’s a change you’ve been hoping or trying to make for some time and a number of factors about it are within your control, but for some reason it just hasn’t happened yet, you may have some unconscious blockers that are preventing you from making that change.

On the other hand, there may also be factors that are out of your control that have been preventing you from reaching your goals, such as systemic issues. In a job search, for example, these could include, among other things:

1. jobseeking in a difficult job market
2. having one or more marginalized identities in industries that are predominantly “pale and male,”
3. needing flexible and/or remote work due to care needs for yourself and/or family when return-to-office mandates run rampant

It’s important to acknowledge that these factors are not your fault. They are unfair. If you have feelings about them, let yourself feel them all the way through. Take time to grieve, rage, or feel complete apathy. If you’re not sure how you’re feeling, practicing identifying your emotions with a feelings wheel can help. Know also that while these challenges might mean you’re playing on hard mode, you can still beat the game. You don’t need to give up, you can just change your strategy.

Professor and activist Angela Davis said, “I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.” If you are passionate about mitigating certain barriers within career planning or pivoting for yourself or others, getting involved with a group who is working to make an impact in these areas could be very rewarding. If you choose to do this, it will be important to manage your energy effectively to avoid burnout (more on that in Part 2!).

Announcing the #Awktober Challenge! A guided journey to build confidence in community

If you're struggling with the fear of being seen, a feeling of awkwardness, or a hesitation to put yourself out there authenticallly, the #Awktober Challenge was built just for you. This daily challenge will offer small steps and reflections toward gradually getting more comfortable and confident putting yourself in front of an audience of 1 to 1000 or more. If you haven't launched that content stream yet because you're overthinking it yet, haven't had those important conversations you know you should, or haven't taken those opportunities you wanted because you didn't believe they were possible for you, this is your time and your challenge. The community support from others on a similar path will help you feel less alone and inspire you to keep going. Join with a friend for even more support and accountability, and a sizable discount for both of you.

If your October is already too booked up to take on a new adventure, or you're just feeling too busy in general and would like to have less responsibilities on your plate, consider taking part in the #NOvember challenge about setting boundaries, either alone or with a friend.

Find all challenges and more on my product page. Hope to see you inside!

Bonus fun opportunity for creative folks (need I say more?)!

Because of the last-minute lead time for #Awktober (because I came up with it relatively last minute), I'm offering an additional challenge. Share about #Awktober on social media and get as creative as you can. The most creative post that inspires the most signups will win a free seat in the #NOvember challenge. If you're posting on LinkedIn, feel free to tag me!

Events

There's still time to register for next Wednesday's event with Tech Ladies! Hope to see you there!

Have a great weekend! You're almost there!

Cee | Cultivate Your Weirdness​